I don't know about ya'll but January was MY month. Yes, its a new year, blah blah. I feel like everyone is always hella excited and pumped in January because of this. But a lot of my excitement behind this month has to do with the seeds I planted last year that are now growing. After quitting my job last year, I decided to freelance full-time as a photographer. I'm still learning the ropes but I've never been happier being able to fully invest in myself.
In December I wrote down some things I wanted to accomplish. I had just gotten back to my workout routine after hurting my back and being basically out of order the whole month of November. I felt good and ready to show myself how much more I can grow. I had just gotten my planner from Planning Collective and was super excited because one of the things I loved about it was the section for each month where you can write down Things I'm Executing and Things Im Leaving Behind. How great is that? It was totally aligned with my vision for 2018. I wanted to have a clear idea of what it is I wanted to accomplish. I truly believe in the power of writing things down. I have been journaling for years and one of the things I enjoy the most is looking back at those journals and seeing some of the goals I wrote down that are now a reality for me.
Anyway back to how I feel about January. I want to share with you guys some of the things I wrote down in my planner:
Things I'm executing:
- Early mornings
- Drink more water
- 70lbs squat (at least 5 reps)
- Bigger meals (more carbs)
- Morning meditation
- Practice release
Things I'm Leaving Behind:
- sleeping late
- skipping breakfast
I'm the type of person that focuses on what they want rather than what they don't want. But it is good to notice the things that aren't serving you. I'm so happy because I accomplished all those things on my list.
I have been waking up earlier. To clarify, I always wake up early because I take my daughter to school but I would come back home and sleep in more. My goal was to make more use of my day by pushing myself to stay up. I did this sometimes by just going straight to the gym after dropping her off. That way I was far far away from my bed as possible. Which helped me stop sleeping so late (and also not skip breakfast because I was busy snoozing). I mean, for a while at the end of 2017 I felt like a zombie. I think I slept at 2-3am every day in December. But now I'm back to like 12am. On a good day 11pm.
As far as drinking more water, well I drink almost a gallon a day. I carry my Contigo bottle with me all day. Four refills of that bad boy equals a gallon - most days I drink three. Still working on getting to four! Downside: I feel like a 2-year-old who always has to pee. Upside: My skin is hella glowing!!
At the beginning of last summer I started being really consistent with my fitness. I wanted to see what my body would look like if I gave it 100% and not be on and off with it. I reached my 70lbs squat goal last week and yesterday I managed to do 90lbs!! I was so hype. So this month I already goaled myself to reach 120lbs! I am trying to build muscle so weight training is everything for me. And this brings me to my next goal, eating more. I committed to eating bigger meals. Ever since last year I have tremendously improved my healthy eating lifestyle. It's no longer a challenge for me to eat clean. But on most days I am running around like a maniac. Between being a mom, gym, photoshoots, school and just attending events, I am always on the go. Therefore even though I have been eating well, I don't eat enough. I don't skip meals or anything, but in order to gain muscle mass I had to readjust and eat more carbs.
Let's get personal.
Last year I was in a delicate mental space. Everything affected me profoundly. All my struggles felt immense. One phone call with my mom and I would spiral into a deep sadness and felt almost immobile. I realized I was holding too much space for people who weren't going to change their ways. I let other's circumstances get the best of me and my mental health. Granted, these are people I care about, but it doesn't mean we get to lose ourselves in another person's trouble. I realized I can still feel for people, I can be understanding and come from love while protecting my space. I wasn't serving anyone by allowing it to take away from my joy. But it was easier said than done. So last month I decided that I'd put in the work. For me it meant meditating in the morning and practicing release. By that I mean just releasing myself from the idea that I have to carry someone else's pain and drama. I didn't fully know how I'd release myself from it. But as the days passed I started noticing where I could practice release. For me it showed up as being 100% committed to my fitness, it showed up as praying for someone I cared about while releasing myself from the suffering, it showed up as telling a family member that I no longer wanted to speak of the same issues every time we spoke. Somehow just those seemingly small steps have been so significant. I feel so much lighter because I'm not carrying around all this baggage that was seeping into my mental health and not to mention my relationship.
This month I also got to start on some really exciting ideas that I plan to execute throughout the next few months. One of them came about spontaneously with my friend Lori. We began a series, if you will, called More Than A Mom where we go on IG live (biweekly) and discuss ways that we manage being a mom and our own boss. We are both very passionate about the idea that moms can do so much more than what society expects them to. We are fully capable of being a badass business woman and a badass mom. So we decided to share our success stories, our struggles, what tools we use to get by daily and how we support each other to grow further. It's something I am personally driven to speak on because so many limiting beliefs were placed on me from people I cared about when I began to expand on my many roles and not conform to just having a 9-5 and be a mother. So keep an eye out for our next one! I also am working on many amazing things for my personal project Own Your Pajón that I can't wait to share!
Anyway, I wanted to be open and talk about my journey and my struggles. I hope it inspires someone, but mostly I find it so therapeutic to write about your growth.
So here's what worked for me this month:
- Writing down my goals
- Taking time to plan out my week every Sunday
- Making effective lists: what needs to be done ASAP vs what can be done by end of week
- Making more meals at home
- Being my word to myself
Be patient with your growth. A lot of the things I have noticed about myself this month have truly surprised me. I've honestly though to myself, who is this new me? And then I realized, I know who the hell this is, this is the woman that grew out of all the seeds I planted last year.
And I'm still growing.